Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
