so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize