sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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