Fuck appropriateness.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
