singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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