I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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