i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
