I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You've changed since you got that strap on
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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