I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
