He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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