So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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