I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
