i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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