so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
