thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
