are you so shy because you have an std?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
