I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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