hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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