i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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