So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
