so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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