I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
