To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
