last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
