Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
