In America we eat man semen.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
