I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
