p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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