ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
what day is it and did you see me today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize