When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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