lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
