I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
