you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
