yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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