Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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