Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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