why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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