Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize