Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
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I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
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I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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