Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
