I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
