I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
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She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
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I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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