sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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