Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
