so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.