4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
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