I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
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Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
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IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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