Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
