return my video game
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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