we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
