her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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