You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
