Cold hands, warm shart.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
