Can i not drive my cunt home
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
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