Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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