I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
His nipple licking is glorious
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