Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
