Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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