? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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