what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
