i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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