I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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