So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
