haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Randomize
