my mouth tastes like poor choices
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
