TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
