Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
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Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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