You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
