he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
