don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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