This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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